Jewish Inspiration Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of TORCH in Houston, Texas. This is the Jewish Inspiration Podcast.

Now my dear friends, welcome back to day number 133 on the top of page 751 in the Gate of Flattery and the Treasure for Life edition of the Yoruch HaSedikim, the Ways of the Righteous. Maase b'adamechad kosher, there was a story about a certain very virtuous special man shahaysa lo bas lahasi, and he had a daughter to marry off, v'hayu b'iro sh'nei b'nei adam, and he had two suitable prospects for his daughter,
asher kol echad chafetz li sabitoy, each one of them wanted to marry his daughter, v'halach ha'adam ha'kosher v'bikesh mi ha'adam echad lahasos imo miriva So the father went and asked someone to stir up a quarrel with him so as to ask these two suitors to judge between them in order to test them. v'lo basof yikach osam shnaim lo dun b'nei hem, k'dey le nasosim, v'oso kakh, and they did so. v'osam ha'shnaim, echad mehem ha'ya machnif lo oso adam b'kosher, k'dey sh'yasiyo bito, v'ha'ya mizak l'oso b'chol davorof.
v'oz nasam bito lo oso sh'ha'ya mechayev oso, ki omar v'aday hu adam tov, sh'lo hechnif li v'lo nasa li panim. So he gets into a quarrel with this other guy, and then he calls these two men. He says, you two get over here. What do you think? It's the guy who says, you know, I'm gonna flatter him, and that way he'll give me his daughter. He'll give me her hand in marriage. So he flatters him, and he says, no, no, no, you're not for my daughter.
The other guy who gave me the honest truth and told me that I was wrong, that's a guy I know certainly, he's a good person, and because he didn't flatter or favor me, he's the chosen one for my daughter. This is an interesting, I don't know if this is an actual story that happened, or it's just a story that, an example that he's giving, but the idea here is that sometimes, you know, the boss
says something, and everyone's like, oh, everyone's laughing, and it was like, was everyone is trying to flatter. He's the guy who signs my check. I better be nice to him. I better tell him how funny he is, but that's flattery, and a person needs to be very, very cautious of this. Therefore, Mishu hu parnas, or Dayan, or Gabbai Tztoch, or one who is a community leader, or a judge, or a disburser of charity, must not be a flatterer. Tzorok she lo yei choneif.
Ki im ya chneif ha parnas lo shum odam, ve lo yu'chichow la'asos ha tov v'lo sor manara, oz yei kol ha kol mekul kolem. Because then what happens is, the whole community, the whole congregation is going to go in an evil path. Ki kol echad yomar ha parnas ma chneif leploni. Look, the one who's the community leader, look who he's kissing up to, and they will not accept his reproof. Look, the one who's the community leader, look who he's kissing up to, and they will not accept his reproof.
Similarly, if a judge flatters one of the litigants, the other will feel himself muzzled. V'chein Dayan ha ma chneif le'echad mi bal yi adinin, oz yistatmu divrei ha shei nevilo, yei da liton ka asherod la'i. Now when he's coming to argue for himself, he's not going to be able to present himself clearly, because he sees they're best friends. In most cases, the judge will need to recuse himself, saying I can't, I can't, I can't with good conscience
be the judge on such a case when I have a relationship with this litigant. Ne'im tzim sh'lo yeitzei ha din la'amito, and as a result, the case will not be, the verdict won't come out properly. V'chein gab etz toka ha ma chneifim. Additionally, the same holds true with someone who disperses the charity for the community, who flatter and give charity to one who flatters them, or who flatter him and give him charity, even though he is not deserving of it. So,
this is also something which is inappropriate. V'chein tzarech ha tzadik le'hisrachek mi'od b'na chneifus, therefore a righteous man must keep himself very far away from flattery. Neither to flatter others, nor to accept flattery from them. V'yizorim mi'od kishi ya'asim ma'asim tovim, sh'lo yisgavin bo'hem la'ach nevla'acheirim elu l'shem sh'mayim b'vad. And when someone does a good deed, he shouldn't do it to flatter others, or to make others feel good, or to make others happy, or to impress other people. Do it for the sake of heaven alone.
V'ha'agru'o shebechol ha chneifos, and the worst of all flatteries, ha makhnef le'chaver k'dei le'hachtiyo, is to flatter others to cause them to sin. Ki'gon sh'yesh lo makhlokes im b'nei adam ve'ein ha'din imo. He has a dispute with someone, ve'ein ha'din imo, and the case is not going his way. Ve'hu makhnef le'bnei adam li'sayeya lo v'le'chazek ta'uso. He flatters others to aid him, and thus confirm him in his wrong, and to double down on his wrong, or, as in one pursuing transgressions,
o mi'shu hu'rodef achra'aviros ki'go'en z'nus v'sha'aros, ve'hu makhnef le'chaver k'dei she'yase kamo. See, he tries, he's doing terrible things, he inspires other people to do it. Here, it's just a little tax fraud, it's not a big deal. It's just a little bit of illicit relations, it's not a big deal. Come, join me, come with me, we're going to go, we're going to have a good time, we'll go here, we'll go there. You'll see, everything is going to be great.
And he does it in a way of flattery so that he doesn't do it alone. Yiravim ben avot zachalim m'lucha b'shvil sh'lo hechnif le'shlamo, ella hochicho al'inyan binyan milo. So he says that Yiravim ben avot merited becoming the king for not having flattered Shlomo but having rebuked him for the building of the Milo. So, my dear friends, this concludes day number 133. And now we are about to finish the chapter with day number 134.

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