Jewish Inspiration Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of TORCH in Houston, Texas. This is the Jewish Inspiration Podcast.

And now welcome back my dear friends to the Muslim Masterclass, The Gate of Slander, day number 141 on page 783. V'im t'ireh odom asher yidaber dovero yaseh maseh, if you see a man who's doing something for which he could be judged either favorably or unfavorably. Yishlodon d'vorov u'masov l'tzad hachovah u'l'tzad z'chus, im hu yirei elokim nizchayavto l'duno l'kav z'chus alderach ha'emes.
If this person is a righteous person, generally, you must judge them favorably. Afilu im hadover noteh harbe l'chovah yoseh m'l'z'chus. Even if the action seems, from my perspective, that the guy is guilty. Seems like the guy is guilty. But you know what? Since, in general, this person is a righteous person, we assume that this was a righteous deed. V'im u'beinoni, if someone is in an in-between, a middle-range righteousness person, asher nizar menachet u'fa'amim yikashubah, so he's generally careful of sin, but sometimes he falls to sin.
Yish olecha lehatos ha'sofek v'leachir l'kav z'chus. You have to do everything you can. To judge him favorably. V'omar ha'veseinu z'chol ha'nei v'rochen, and our sages said of Blessed Memory, Ha'dan ha'skhaveru l'kav z'chus, ha'mokam yis'aleh yedinehu l'kav z'chus. When you judge others, the Talmud says, you judge others favorably, you will be judged favorably. And if you judge, God forbid, you judge someone negatively, then God will judge you negatively. That means the way in which we judge others is the way in which we will be judged.
V'him mitzvah saseh min ha-Torah she'nemar b'tzedek tish'potam yis'echo. This is a commandment in our Torah, which teaches us in Leviticus, with righteousness you shall judge your neighbor. V'im ha-dover noteh le'tzal chovah, and if the person is not a righteous person at all, and he does something which could be judged in either direction, Yih ha-dover etzal chovah, komo safik, he says you should you should be in a state of question, doubt. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what he did. I can't, I can't judge.
V'al tachriah le'kav chayav, he says, but whatever you do, don't judge him negatively. V'im ha-ish rov ma'asav u'dvorav l'roh, and if this person, the majority of his actions and words are evil, Yih yodah toh ki ein yiras Hashem yis'aleh b'liboh, and you know that this guy is not God-fearing at all, V'al tachriah ma'asav u'dvorav le'kav chovah. So listen to what he says so carefully. He says, then judge his actions, his deeds, and his words negatively, but just that, not the person.
His actions is a major, major rule, a major principle in parenting. Never, ever reprimand your child by telling them they are a bad child. Never. Only saying what you did was bad. Your child is excellent. Your child is terrific. The decision they made was a poor decision. Make it on the action, not on the person. The action, not the person. But it's interesting that he says to judge every person. I got you some paper there, you see? I got you paper there
for you in the middle. Okay. No, no, I did it for you because I know I love you so much. I wanted you to have paper. I know you like the notes. There's pens. There you go. So the truth is we always think that we need to judge every person favorably. It's not true. You don't need to judge every person favorably. You don't have to go and judge Hitler favorably. Okay? You don't. Maduro, you don't need to judge favorably. You don't need to. These are evil
people. They're wicked people. Khomeini, right? You don't need to judge favorably. He murdered tens of thousands of people in the last two weeks. If to judge such a person favorably? Absolutely not. So we know that there are categories of people. Some people we do judge favorably and some people we don't. Someone who's all righteous, always favorably. Someone who's all a sinner. Someone who is not righteous. You're not obligated to. Someone who's in the middle. That's where it says judge them favorably. Give a stretch. Find a way to judge them
favorably. Okay, now the author continues as well, as far further. If someone revealed your sin, do not say, Oh, don't say, Just like he revealed my sin, my secrets, I'm going to reveal his. And now we're going to even the score. Why? Because what does the Torah tell us? Don't have revenge and don't bear a grudge. You know the difference between revenge and a grudge? Revenge is you did to me, I'll do to you.
Grudge means, okay, so I come to you Mark and I say, Can I borrow your drill? And you're like, Nah, I can't really. I think I'm going to need it tonight and I'm going to need to use it. So, you know, no. The next day you come to me and say, Hey, can I borrow your drill? And I say, You know something? I'm not going to be like you. I'm going to lend it to you. That's bearing a
grudge. The Torah says you're not allowed to do that. Do it happily and don't bear a grudge. Don't either boast, saying, He talked about me, but you know, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to talk about him. You know, I'm not going to ruin his life. He harmed me, but I wouldn't do that back to him. He says, because in doing so, you already revealed half of it. And in fear of heaven, you've got to be complete. This is a great principle in fear of heaven.
And if the sinner is not a God-fearing person at all, Imagine there was a sin that everybody knows is a sin. For example, idolatry. Oh, be careful. Don't bow down to that idol. Don't do this. Don't do that. And everybody knows to stay away. This guy goes and he does it in front of everybody. Such a person is considered a rebel to the community. And you should publicize it so that people know
that it's not worth it to go against the will of Hashem. It's not worth it to do something which is evil and wicked. And to embarrass those who are outright sinners in front of others. So that the people distance themselves from such actions and such activities. The abomination of the righteous is a man of wrong. They don't want to be next to, nobody wants to be next to someone who's evil, someone who's wicked. The fear of Hashem is to hate evil.
The sages tell us in the Talmud, an evildoer who is the son of a righteous person is permitted to be called an evildoer, the son of an evildoer. A righteous person who is the son of an evildoer is permitted to be called a righteous person, the son of a righteous person. Why? He says, so why would you say that? Why would you say about someone who's the sinner, the son of a righteous, you know, he's a sinner, the son of a sinner? Because that'll be a reprimand
that you're going to see such a person say, you're calling my dad a sinner? My dad was a righteous person. Yeah, but he produced you. He produced you. So now the person is going to say, uh-oh, my negative sins is affecting my dad's reputation. I have to correct my way. And the opposite is true as well. A righteous person who's the son of a wicked person, we say he's righteous, the son of a righteous. Why? Because then the word gets back to the
father. Did you hear what they're calling you? They're calling you righteous, your son, the righteous, the son of a righteous. You're like, oh, they're expecting me to be righteous. I better live up to it. I better live up to it. And this is an important perspective in general when we talk about education of our children. When we talk about educating our children, what you tell your children they're going to be, they're going to be.
There's an amazing interview. You can look this up on the YouTubes as follows. There's a quarterback of the Buffalo Bills. His name is Josh Allen. And Josh Allen was a most valuable player for the Buffalo Bills, most valuable player. And they asked him when he was interviewed, how do you feel? How does it feel to become an MVP? He says, nothing special. He said, why not? It's like people are like, you know, they get so excited. I was chosen as the MVP, the most valuable player
in the NFL. This is such a big accomplishment. He says, no, my father has been telling me this since I'm 10 years old. He said, we used to drive to school. We had a long drive to school. And my father would be sitting in the front seat. I would be sitting next to him, he said. And my father would be interviewing me. He said, how does it feel to be the MVP of the National Football League? And he would always be doing this. He manifested it
into his son. You understand that when you think great things about your child, that's what they'll become. When you think that there'll be a great singer, there'll be a great writer, you obviously have to be realistic, that there'll be an Olympian, an Olympic swimmer, that there'll be an accomplished writer, that there'll be a scholar, that there'll be a righteous Jew. That's what they'll live up to. But if you tell them, like I've met parents who do this with their children, they tell them, you know, you're a
nobody. You know, you're a nothing. So you know what's going to be? Exactly that. When we manifest that into our children, we can pull this out from what we say over here in this Talmud. If you call someone a tzaddik, ben tzaddik, it's going to make his father more righteous. And if you call someone a Rasha, ben Rasha, it's going to make him more righteous, because he sees that it's having an impact on his dad. He says, only if your intention is to uplift this person and to infuse holiness
into this person, to correct his way. But you're just in a quarrel with this guy. You just want to put him down. You want to mock him. You want to just show him how he's a nobody. That's not sufficient grounds to call someone such names. In such case, you're not allowed to reveal their sin. Meaning the only time you're allowed to reveal the sin of another person is to correct their way, not to just publicize it and harm them. You're not the New York Times. You don't just get
to write whatever you want about whoever you want, because you don't like them. The only time we're allowed to reveal the wickedness of a person is if we have the power to influence change in them. He says, he would certainly not be revealing his secrets for a good reason. And the word of the lips brings only loss. You have to be so careful. Your lips are so powerful that life and death is in the hands of the tongue. Very few times that saying Lashon Hara is actually a mitzvah.
If two wicked people, they're conspiring to do evil. You're allowed to start speaking slander one about the other. You're allowed to speak, you like to create a fight between them. You go over to one of them. Two guys are conspiring to do something really terrible. You go to one guy, you say, you know, you know this guy that you're with, just saying, be careful. I've heard some things about him. So now he's going to be very, very cautious and he's going to break up his friendship. And now
these two people won't do terrible things together. So that way it gets them to stop doing, maybe they'll fight with each other, but they're not going to do negative things to good people. He says, someone who is an adulterer, who's pursuing an adulteress, it is permitted to resort to slander so that they not commit the transgression. You start saying terrible things about the person. Oh, he's abusive. Oh, he, you know, whatever it is that one might be concerned about to limit their adulterous activity.
He says many times, even if someone is a terrible, wicked person, you're not allowed to embarrass them in public, under any circumstances. If you're concerned that this person is now going to go to a really, really evil path. People who are in a quarrel and people who are in constant dispute, you're allowed to speak negatively against them. Because the verse states, and I will come after you and confirm your words. People who are, this is in Malachi, because you want to discourage people from being
constant warmongers and evil speakers. Since so many things are dependent on the tongue, a person needs to be extremely cautious with his tongue, with his words. Keep your tongue from evil. There was a story told about a man who called out in the street, he announced in the street, who wants this potion of life? Who wants this potion of life? I'm selling it. And whoever wants it can come and can purchase it here.
Imagine someone tells you, I'm going to give you a special medicine, you'll live to 200 years. Who's not going to want to buy that? Oh, we'll all line up. He says, listen, I'm giving you the guaranteed medication for life. He pulls out a Tehillim, a book of Psalms, and he opens up to the chapter 34 in Psalms, and he reads it to them. Who is the man who wishes life and loves days to see good? Keep your tongue from evil.
He took him into his house and fed him and gave him to eat and to drink and he gave him money. And said to him, till now, you didn't know this verse? Well, now that you saw, you heard this peddler selling the book of Psalms, and now you learned something you didn't know. Of course, you knew this. Says, of course, I knew this verse. But I didn't take it to heart. I was not heedful of it.
And when I read the verse, I would pass over it and not take it to heart. And now this person came and impressed it upon me, upon me. And now it came to life. And now I will be much more watchful with my tongue, because I understand the importance and the severity of this incredible power that we all possess, the power of speech. And speaking negatively about another person is truly a terrible, terrible deed. And this concludes day number 141, my dear friends.

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