Jewish Inspiration Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

00:01 - Intro (Announcement)
You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe, Director of TORCH, the Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston. This is the Jewish Inspiration Podcast.

00:12 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
And now we are going to resume day number 85 in the ways of the righteous the gates of envy. Page 507 on top. Treasure for life edition of envy. Page 507 on top. Treasure for life, edition. Of course.

00:28
Ha-me-ka-nei, ho-mei snaf-sho. Someone who is envious robs himself. You're robbing from yourself, you're stealing from yourself. He-hu-mis-a-bel-tamid, he's always downtrodden, he's always downcast, he's always sad. Vi-sich, always downcast, he's always sad. His intellect is depleted because of the great envy buried within him and his heart is not free to study and pray with concentration and to do good deeds.

01:15
All people find great, delicious flavor in their food, except for someone who's jealous. Someone who's jealous, his food doesn't taste good. Eh why? There's no flavor in life. You're stealing from yourself. He's not going to be happy. Nothing's going to taste good, nothing's going to feel good. Till the good departs from his friend.

01:49
L'chol sinah yesh tikvah. For all hatred, there is hope. She'im yisna chavero avur shigzalo kosor. Ha-sinah kishayashiv lo osadavar. If your friend hates you because you stole something, as soon as you return that object that was stolen, there's no more hatred. You know it's like today we're seeing in front of our eyes an example of this that when there's a hatred because you steal something because you're being unjust. When you resolve that unjust behavior, suddenly there's understanding, there's acceptance. Suddenly there's understanding, there's acceptance. It's almost like what we're seeing with this standoff with the United States and Canada and Mexico, where suddenly, like first it's like shock and hate. I can't believe it. But then they realize one second, we've been cheating the system, perhaps we haven't been doing our proper, our proper, due responsibility to protect the border, etc. Etc. Suddenly they start doing it and suddenly there's no more hatred, there's no more anger. It's an amazing thing. As soon as this particular matter is resolved, there's no more grievances.

03:40
A very, very wise man once said to his son do not envy your brother for what he has, for his life will be pleasant and you will be filled with worry and grief. Who suffers when you're jealous? Only you, only you. It's not that your friend is living a great life, it's that, in your eyes, when you're jealous, you think everything everybody else has is better than yours. In your mind you set this idea oh, they're just so successful. They have no problems in their marriage. They have no problems with their kids. They have no problems buying whatever house they want. They have no problems in their job. What happens problems buying whatever house they want. They have no problems in their job. What happens? We don't know what's going on with them. It doesn't really matter what's going on with them, but when we don't feel fulfilled within, then we're looking out. He says there are many people who cause jealousy in others. Sorry, I think I skipped again the envier and desire, the person who desires, were created only for anger. The only result of someone who's envious, who's jealous, the only result is anger.

05:25
The early sages would pray that we should not be jealous of others and others shouldn't be jealous of us. This is part of our prayer in the Sefard, in the Nusach Sephard Siddur. I'll pull it up right here Nusach Sephard is the Sephardic dialect of prayer. So they say the following right at the end of the Amidah, right before they say Oseh shalom bimromav, they say the following Yehirat som afanecha, hashem alokai, v'lokia v'sayim. May it be your will, hashem, god of my forefathers and my God, shulot ta'aleh, kinas odam olay, that others' jealousy should not come upon me. V'kinosi, v'lo, kinosi, alacherim, and I shouldn't be jealous of others. That means I shouldn't be the reason that other people are jealous. People shouldn't look at me and be jealous. I don't want to be the pitfall. You know, there's a verse in the Torah that says oh, he's going to. It says you shall not place a stumbling block before the blind. When we cause other people to be jealous, we're putting a stumbling block in front of the blind, but they can see they're blind to this matter. They're blind to this matter. Why is this the thing they're praying about? That others shouldn't be jealous of me. Maybe others shouldn't hurt me, others shouldn't steal from me. No, that's not part of the prayer, that others shouldn't be jealous of me. This is the way to understand this. Be jealous of me, elo kachayin. This is the way to understand this.

07:22
Ki har bebni odim gormim she iskanu beh, many people cause others to be jealous of them. Shem lov, shem godim noyim. They wear very fancy clothes, be'ino mehanim acher mishalahem, and they don't avail others of. They don't shear what they have with others. Ozem gormim shi iskanu. Bohem viach medu osam. They're causing other people to be jealous of them. L'cheinoyim mispalim. Therefore, they would pray ala cherim. They would pray for others. Ki ulai hem gormim hakinu ala cherim. Maybe they are causing others to be jealous?

08:06
The Torah already told us in Leviticus 19, verse 14, b'lefnei iver lo yisiten mirshol. You shall not place a stumbling block in front of the blind. L'chein mida tova ba'adam. Therefore, it is a good trait for a person sh'lo yil ba'ash b'kod dem no'im. Therefore, it is a good trait for a person not to wear too fancy of clothes not him, not his wife, not his children, not to have too much of fancy food, fancy wines, fancy scotch and bourbon. Don't be too fancy. Don't drive fancy cars that nobody should be jealous. Scotch and bourbon. Don't be too fancy. Don't drive fancy cars. K'dei sh'lo yikano bo'achem that nobody should be jealous as a result. Ach mi sh'hi shpia lo'a borei yisparach o'sh'on chosim, someone who was blessed, blessed by the Almighty with tremendous wealth. Yahani mehem la'achem la'ashirim la'anim vi'isnai gi with tremendous wealth. Don't make yourself fancy and exclusive. On the contrary, let other people enjoy. When you let, let's say, the fancy guy has a ton of money, has a beautiful pool in his backyard, let other people use it, share it with others.

09:29
I remember listening to a lecture many years ago where someone was talking about happiness. He says nobody needs to see your family photos when you took your whole family to Disneyland. Nobody cares, nobody wants to see it. You're just making other people jealous. You're making their lives miserable. You went on a cruise, good for you. Keep it to yourself, nobody needs to know.

10:00
Do you want the responsibility of someone getting into debt because they're jealous of the cruise that you took, because they're jealous of the vacation you had, they're jealous of the food you eat or the wine you drink? Be private, nobody needs to know. Don't be the reason. Someone else does terrible things because they saw something from you on your Facebook status, your Facebook post or your Twitter post oh, he's vacationing. I always have to start vacationing. You can't afford it. Okay, I'll cheat, lie and steal and borrow and have no way to pay it back. Terrible thing. So not only you, but your wife, your children, make sure that they don't do things that cause others to become jealous.

11:03
He says the key if you are very wealthy, share it with others. Poor people like wealthy people. Let them enjoy from what you have. Be pleasant with other people. Be uptight. Oh, don't go into my kitchen. You can't touch my fancy dishes. You can't, you know. No, share it. Go into my kitchen. You can't touch my fancy dishes. You can't, you know. No, share it. Fine Nachas With pleasantness. V'yaseh imoim chesed and do kindness with them. V'kvar erachnu ba'dovar kamatov, b'zeh sh'yeh ne'av labrios.

11:36
We already mentioned how important it is for a person to be beloved to others and by others. וכפי הרחנו בדובר כמה טוב בזה שיהיה נהב לבריאוס וכשהוא נהב לחול אדם. And when a person is beloved by all, by all mankind, עוז להיכנעו ולהיאחמדו, then people are not jealous and people are not envious, and people don't desire what you have, but rather it is proper for one to ascend to the highest virtue of all, and that which brings glory to him, and others will aspire to emulate him. Be virtuous, be great, be elevated higher, not in a physical, materialistic way, but in a spiritual way. Hide your success.

12:45
ומי שנזה שלו יקנה אין גופו כל אלה את הלאים שולטם בו וכסיב ורקבת סומוס קינה. And one who guards himself against envy, his body does not. אין גופו כל. His body does not disintegrate and worms have no power. So someone who's jealous, that's the result. But someone who helps others not be jealous, doesn't stick out, doesn't show off, doesn't make other people jealous, such a person who brings no envy to others will be protected from the disintegration and the worms of our afterlife. Okay, after we pass away from this world, one who has envy in his heart, his bones will rot. Kol mi she'yish lo kinu b'libot atzmosov mar'kivin. Kol she'yin lo kinu b'libot ein atzmosov mar'kivin. Anyone whose heart is free of envy, of jealousy, his bones will not rot L'chein.

13:58
That's the Talmud, says that Chakrit Shabbat L'. Therefore one should keep himself far from envy and desire, and not desire anything possessed by others. And a person should not say I can desire what my friend has and give him money for it. I desire my friend has and give him money for it. I desire what he has and I'll pay for it. I see he has a nice watch, I'll just buy his watch. I see he has a nice car, I'll just buy his car. Jealousy not allowed to do that. It's a biblical sin. By the way, lo yomer ech ma'od binyoni chaveirein, I'll be jealous. Ve'etim l'mo savur oso inyon Sheim ein dayta limkor inyonov Oz osu lezele haftziro Yizeh yizbayesh. Lo hoshiv panov reikom. Because if you desire to buy what he has, what's if he doesn't want to sell it? He doesn't want to make you feel bad, he doesn't want to hurt you, he doesn't want to embarrass you. So what's going to be? He's going to sell it even though he doesn't want to. You're pressuring him to sell it. He doesn't want to let you down.

15:10
Im kein avik mo'ones. This is very, very similar to someone being forced to do something against their will. L'chein v'chein v'chol shekein Im zeh achomed ish nechpad. If the person who's jealous is a prominent person, a distinguished person, sheim yishal sheila, he's going to ask his friend. Or ponov lo yapilon sheosol ishlo mechavere ma biyado mikach o matano im einu yodea sheitin lo b'ne.

15:46
You're not allowed to request something that they can't refuse, right? So if you, it's especially forbidden for a distinguished person, whose request will certainly not be refused, to solicit a purchase or a gift from his neighbor if he is not certain that it will be given wholeheartedly. You know that they're going to give it. They feel bad that they're giving it. You're coercing them to do something they really don't want to do.

16:24
It says a parable to this. It says A king once met a desire and an envier walking together on the road and said to them let one of you ask for something and it will be given to you, and the other will get twice as much. All right, pogabayim melech echad omar lehem hamelech echad mikhem yishal dover. Mimeni v'yinosin lo, he's going to get exactly one. V'chavero yiflayim, he's going to get exactly one. His friend will get double.

17:05
So the jealous one the jealous one didn't want to ask first because, whatever I'm going to ask, I'm going to ask for 10 million dollars, my friend is now going to get 20 million can't do that, can't let that happen. Because whatever I'm going to ask, I'm going to ask for $10 million, my friend is now going to get $20 million. Can't do that, can't let that happen. The other guy who is jealous, he is dealing with a different problem. He wants both of them. He wants what he's going to get and what his friend is going to get. Finally, the envier asked first. He says here's my request I want you to poke out one of my eyes this is what he tells the king so that both eyes will be taken out of the other guy. This is a terrible thing. You had the opportunity to ask anything you wanted, the only thing you you can. It hurts you to see your friend succeed. It hurts you. It's a terrible, terrible downfall for man when we have this terrible trait of jealousy.

18:27 - Intro (Announcement)
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