Way 8: Happiness Is an Attitude, Not a Destination
Welcome back everybody, we are now on way number eight, the eighth virtue, the eighth quality that the Mishnah recommends for a maximization of life. And way number eight is b'simcha, with happiness. So what is the single most sought after trait? What does happiness really mean? And how does one become a person of happiness? So we know in the U.S. Declaration of Independence, we say life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. But the truth is, is that as we'll see, that is a flawed message.
There's no pursuit of happiness. You don't arrive at a destination called happiness. Happiness is not a destination. You don't arrive one day at happiness. Happiness is an attitude. Happiness comes from within. Happiness comes when we are content with what we have, while sadness comes from looking at what we don't have. Happiness is so fundamental in Judaism that it says that the presence of God does not reside where there isn't joy. If there's sadness, God doesn't want any part of it. The Shekhinah reflects us.
When one is happy, the Shekhinah is happy. The presence of God is happy. When one is sad, the Shekhinah is sad, and the Shekhinah, the presence of God, does not want to be sad. Now what does sadness come from? Sadness comes from confusion. Happiness comes from clarity. The Torah and joy and happiness, the Torah and joy are brothers. It is impossible to part the two. You can't learn Torah and not be happy. It's impossible.
It says, the commandments of Hashem bring joy to the heart. It says in Psalms, serve Hashem with joy, or say, just teach us, you know what that really means? Not telling you, serve Hashem with joy. Serve Hashem, and when you serve Hashem, you'll have joy. The result will be that you'll have joy. If one learns Torah without joy, Torah will depart from him, or say, just teach us. It's very difficult to be a functional, productive human being without this joy. Most people seek happiness externally.
They seek through music, food, adventure, shopping, but it's only acquired internally, not from external means. So you can shop for all of your fashion and build the new house and drive the new car and whatever it is that you seek, and happiness could be beyond. But on the other hand, someone who doesn't have anything, and all they get is a cloth to wear, and they're happy with so little. Our sages teach us that the more we have, the more problems we have.
The Mishnah tells us in Ethics of Our Fathers, the more possessions we have, the more problems we have. You want to know worry? Show me someone who has a brand new house, I'll show you worry. Someone who buys a brand new car doesn't sleep well at night. They're worried the entire night. Is someone going to steal it? Is someone going to scratch it? Is someone going to bump it? People with an old car have no problem sleeping.
Happiness is a result of perfection of the soul. Torah is the perfection of God. One hour of learning with joy can accomplish more than many hours of learning with sadness. Happiness ends when we assume external, superficial ways of fulfillment. So if a person is looking to be fulfilled internally, it comes from internal working, working on yourself, working on your character, working on who you are, overcoming challenges. That is what we're looking for when we are working on joy.
So with joy, you will knock the ball right out of the park, because it gives you the energy. It gives you the ability to overcome challenges. It gives you the ability to think right. It's natural to feel joy. It is human to overlook it. You know that babies are always happy? Babies are always happy. In fact, when people look at babies, they will always smile. You know why? Because the King Solomon says, כְּםַיִם פָּנִים אֱל פָּנִים
The face, one face to another is like water. Water reflects. When you give a smile, it will be reflected in return. So if a person wants to live a life of happiness, be happy. Think of what you do have, not what you don't have. Don't suffer your problems, solve them. We mentioned this several times in this podcast series of The 48 Ways that regret has no place in Judaism, except for one purpose, to make us better.
If we utilize the regret to learn from those mistakes and to improve for the future, we've accomplished everything we needed to accomplish. But a person to just sulk and be sad all day, regretting, oh, I regret this and I regret that, nothing productive comes out of that. Happiness can push you through all that. Why wait until you're almost dead to appreciate how good life is? Take every single day and thank Hashem. Don't stop thanking Hashem, wherever you walk, wherever you go, whatever you do, stop, appreciate
and thank Hashem. Do the will of God and you're connected to eternity. Happiness comes from knowing you're doing the right thing. It's a mitzvah to always be happy. We mentioned this earlier. It's a mitzvah to always be happy. Rabbi Nachman of Breslau will teach this to his disciples. It's a mitzvah to always be happy. Why? Because when you're always happy, you don't have worry, you don't have fear, you don't have concern and you're able to connect and you have clarity.
Have a goal, have a direction, have a purpose and meaning in every day of life. So if a person wakes up in the morning, what am I going to do today? Same old, same old. So what's the drive? Have set yourself a goal. Saying positive things can bring about great joy and happiness. Say positive, you'll be positive. So again, happiness is a frame of mind. Act and resolve to be happy and it'll be easier to remain happy.
You know, we say, when the month of Adar comes, then marbim b'simcha. We increase in our joy. But when the month of Av comes, we minimize in our joy. You know what we learn from that? The month of Av had terrible tragedies. The month of Adar had great celebrations. What we learn from that is that we always have to be at a state of happiness. Sometimes we increase it, sometimes we decrease it, but we always have to be happy. The external impacts the internal. Guess what?
You're having a difficult day? Get dressed nicely. You'll feel good about yourself. Ah! Right? That'll lighten up your spirit. The external impacts the internal. Do things that require joy and you will become more joyful. For example, wear nice clothes like we just mentioned. Eat delicious foods. Sing! Take a long walk on the beach. Think positive thoughts. Spend time with friends and family. Do kindness for others. Ponder how great it is to be alive.
And call your parents if you can, if you're still fortunate to have your parents. Call your parents and thank them for giving you life. So there's so much to be thankful for. There's so much to be happy in our lives. I once saw a bumper sticker in the back of a car which had, in the middle of the sticker, it had a grass. And then on top of it, it said, good. And beneath it, it said, bad. Right?
As long as you're on the right side of the grass, you're good. All right? Be happy. Be thankful. Every time you can open up your eyes and see, not only see, if you can see black and white, that's one thing. If you can see color, it's the most magnificent gift in the world. Thank Hashem every day. Every gift that we have, we need to stop and say thank you. And the more we do that, the more happy we'll be.
My dear friends, thank you for joining us. We'll see you in the next way.
