Jewish Inspiration Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

00:00 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Welcome back everybody to day number 51 of the Orchos Tzadikkim, Ways of the Righteous. We're on page 308. So till now, the author tells us about the negative aspects of achzarius, of cruelty Ad'at ha-siparnu ra'os ha-achzarius, ach yesh mekomos she-tzarich linhog ba-achzarius. But there are times that we need to act with cruelty Against the wicked. Against the wicked. There's 100% cruelty towards them, like Job says and I broke the jaws of the injustice and threw the prey from his teeth. We know that, regarding the wicked, the Torah says and you shall stone them, meaning there's no mercy in stoning people. But there are people who are deserving of cruelty as their punishment V'cheinu ha-mor ha-b'senu. And similarly, our sages said mi sheinu rotz alasos suko v'tzitzis, v'talosum zuzul afizcho makinu so'achetetz e'nafsho. There are certain sins that a person does where the Torah says that you beat him to a pulp till he dies. And in order to do that, you need to have a little bit of cruelty To run after and to pursue the wicked and to pressure them to return to the ways of goodness. Now it's very interesting that there are different temperaments that people are born with. We know there are people who are born very, very calm. There are people who are born with different again, different temperaments, but there are those who are born with the desire to draw blood. What does the torah say? There's a positive way to do that, meaning you want to draw blood, right? No, it's not to become a murderer. You could become a slaughterer, a kosher slaughterer. You're slaughtering animals and that's a mitzvah to slaughter. It's not a mitzvah to slaughter if you're going to eat meat, but it's not a mitzvah to slaughter animals, right? But at least you're doing it for a good cause. Or a bris A bris is also drawing blood and like this, you're doing a mitzvah. So there are ways in which you can exercise your tendencies for a good thing, meaning it's not always bad. We have to understand that there's a balance and we see that King David had the tendencies of that blood and hopefully only used it, as our sages teach us, in the best of ways. A person has to be cruel in judgment that he not have pity on his relatives. Cruel in judgment, no-transcript. Just because you love them and they're your relatives doesn't mean that you're going to judge in favor of them, right? You have to deal with your cases appropriately, with justice, and our sages of blessed memory said B'mi ata motze dive. Torah Within whom do you find the words of Torah? B'mi shemei sim atzo achzori al banav ke'oref. You know who has Torah within him. Within whom do you find the words of Torah? You know who has Torah within him? Someone who becomes cruel as a raven to his children, as in the case of Rav Adab Ramasna. Like Rav Adab Ramasna, his wife said to him when he went to the study hall what am I going to do with your children? He responded are there no vegetables in the marshes? Ika kurmi, be'agma Ki zeh dover boru ha'merachim. Albon of Yosef miday, mitoch kach choshev la'harviach, mamon v'lo, yachush heich yav. He says it's like he says if someone doesn't have guidelines for their children, setting up a boundary, there's certain limits. There's no.

04:35
I sat with someone yesterday for many hours and we were talking about his children. He called me. He says I need to meet with you. It ended up being a very, very long meeting. And what happened? He was telling me his whole story. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? So I pointed out a few things from what he said. And he says yeah, I've made some big mistakes in my life.

05:08
He realized after many, many years that the way in which he was always covering for his children, always protecting his children, never allowing them to experience pain, never allowing them to fail, always covering for them. He said he even once went to work for his son, meaning his son didn't show up to work. He was afraid his son was going to lose his job, so he went instead of his son, just so he doesn't get fired. That he doesn't get fired, that he doesn't get fired. That's very troubling, because when we try to protect our children and we don't let them suffer the consequences, they learn that everything is fine, everything is okay, I have to never be responsible. And it causes a tremendous amount of damage to the children.

06:03
The Torah sees this and King Solomon writes about this that chosek shivto. If you hold back the stick, sonab, no, you hate your child, meaning if you don't set boundaries. It doesn't mean you have to hate your child, god forbid. You don't have to hate your child, but you have to set boundaries. You have to allow them to experience pain from their failures. Oh, my child, my child can't lose their job. My child can't get fired. Oh, yes, you can. You can fail a class, you can fail a semester, you can fail school and I'm not going to cover for you. You're going to have to do this yourself. You're going to have to make up the work, and this is the foundation of education, and this is what our author here is talking about.

06:57
People may see it as cruelty. Oh, you're forcing them to fulfill their responsibilities. No, no, no, it may be a little cruel at times, but it's really in the best interest of your child. V'gam mitoch atirdosh u'toreach yom v'laylo l'hamtzi m'zono semot v'tzorkam b'revach mitoch kach u'bottam v'div'i torah ki yaseh. He says also, if people lose priority, you know the story.

07:27
I've said the story recently about the guy who was in a little boat and fishing and getting his fish and this big yacht pulls up next to him. He tells him you know, you should get a bigger boat so you can catch more fish. He says and then what? And he tells him oh, you'll keep on having bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And then what? Then you'll be able to retire and do what and sit on a boat and fish. He says I'm doing that now.

07:52
People get caught up with career, people get caught up with so many different things and forget about why am I doing this? I'm doing it so that I can have a good life for my children, but I'm never there for bedtime. I'm never there to put them to sleep. I'm never there to receive them when they come home from school, to greet them, to hug them, to kiss them. That's tragic and that's really. Our priorities are upside down, and this 500 years ago.

08:22
The author is bringing this to our attention. We have to be cruel to the wicked people. I'm not to have mercy on them. Our sages of blessed memory said this is in Ecclesiastes. We said this yesterday that anyone who becomes merciful to the cruel will end up becoming cruel to the merciful. We see the same by King Saul, where he became merciful to Agag.

09:00
What came out of that Haman? What came out of that Haman, who was an afflictor of the Jewish people, a persecutor of the Jewish people? A person should also be cruel to his body. What does that mean? You know it's cruelty to get out of bed early in the morning to daven. But you know what. You got to do it to serve hashem. Oh, let me sleep. Why are you pulling me out of bed? You got to do it To eat healthy. It's cruelty. I want to eat. I want to eat whatever I want. That's a form of cruelty.

09:40
Don't let your body just relax and take it easy and fill up your heart with delicacies and desires. And you're running after one temptation after another after another. Force your body to overcome the Yetzirah, to live a painful life, but serve Hashem through observance of the mitzvahs and the study of Torah, even if it's difficult. You know what it's not going to be pleasant to sit and learn Torah If you're familiar with the shtisel, the shtisel show. So there's a scene where the young boy has his feet in cold water to keep himself awake while he's learning Torah. I don't know if you remember this scene, but where does he get this from? It's not just a made-up thing. There were sages who did that. They wanted to sit and learn Torah the whole night and the only way they would keep themselves awake is if they had their feet in freezing cold water. Oh, it's cruelty. What are you doing?

10:57
The Torah teaches us you have to be cruel against your yetzahara, your desire, your physical desires. Of course you have to make sure you take care of your body because otherwise you won't have it. But when a person wants to grow, they have to exert themselves beyond the norm. If you're a lawyer, be very careful, like we just mentioned, not to be overly cruel with your body, because then you're not going to have it, but be very careful to have a balance. Everything that we've been talking about ensures that we always have a balance in what we do. A person who's an extremist. Extremism has nothing to do with Judaism. Extremism is not Judaism. That concludes day 51,. My dear friends, I look forward to continuing day 52.