Jewish Inspiration Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

00:00 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Welcome back everybody to the Orchos Tzaddikim, the study of the ways of the righteous, and we're on page 210 in the Treasure for Life edition. We're in the middle of talking about the gate of love. What is the gate of love? There is a great benefit, both in this world and the next, in one's conducting himself with affection and love towards his fellow man. One benefit for this world and one benefit for the world to come. The benefit in this world is that one who conducts himself with love with all mankind, everyone will help him. He'll have many people to aid him and support him in reestablishing himself. And if someone wants to fight with him, and if someone wants to fight with him, many will be there. Someone wants to fight with you and people love you. Then many will want to defend you and protect you and people will give you sage advice and people speak negatively about you, negatively about you. Rabim yashtiku ha-medabrim es haro l'achlimim osam. And so many will say supportive things to defend you Ve'yim tov olav tzor. And if any type of challenge or misfortune would befall the person ha-kol mitz'tar olav and nos naloyad everyone would feel their pain and and give, lend a supporting hand. Vim yavali, they don't have, and if he falls to poverty and and misfortune, rabem yara hamub in the sinas, many will support financially and bring him to a point of peace. So that's the benefit of loving people and having a beautiful loving relationship with others is that there's a side benefit. The side benefit is that people will be there for you whenever you want. Now, what's the benefit for the world to come? Because he's loved by all as you devour, his words will be accepted. His words will have great power and people will accept his reprimand when he corrects them. And because of his love, he will be in peace with everyone. And because of his love, he'll be at peace and have a pleasantness about him and it'll give him the ability to learn and to do great deeds and also, out of the abundance of love that he has, people will help, or at least the heavens will help. The heavens will help and they'll make his work easier and he'll find more time to do the will of Hashem and he'll find more time to do the will of Hashem. Avod HaShelayma should be a complete and perfect, untainted service of Hashem. Umach Hamas HaAvah Hu, nosei Chen, be'einei Kol Roav. And because of this love, everyone will find favor in the eyes of everyone. Umach HaSav Tovim Yim Kubalim Lakom and his good deeds will be accepted by all, and everyone is going to desire to do like he does.

04:16
So what does this have to do with the world to come? It has to do with the world to come because all of those merits of all those people who follow your ways and all of the good things that result from your doing good deeds will be your benefit in the world to come. Because you know I've said this numerous times that I think the greatest investment that a person can possibly make is an investment in the world to come, because you get the pleasure in this world and you get the pleasure in the world to come. It's like someone who's investing in their retirement fund but is also able to benefit here before they retire. Okay, so they don't have to be you know, 59 and a half to withdraw their funds from their IRA. They can enjoy it already now the interest in the world to come, which is rare. It's rare that you can also eat the principle and eat the interest later. That doesn't work. You've got to give away the principle to earn the interest, okay. In what way will a person attain this love from all people. I'm going to enlighten you and teach you, ha'derechu, what is the proper way.

05:38
Shey yazer b'nafshu b'memono l'kol odmik f'yichol, to Help everyone with your soul and with your finances in any way that you can. Ha'ezer b'nafshu hi shi yishareis l'kol odm hin oniv hin ashir is to assist everyone. Serve people, help people, whether they're wealthy, whether they're poor, whether they're destitute, it doesn't make a difference. And go out of your way to assist them In any way. Exert yourself for them. How do we help others with our money? Who? How do we help others with our money? Lend money to the rich man and to the poor person when he needs money. Lend him money. He should also give him occasional gifts, according to his ability, to the poor person. Right Yishlach monos im b'nei adam, and at times, send treats and gifts to the wealthy as well. V'doi roinois gam la'shirim V'yehei vatron b'shaloi, and he should be entirely forgiving.

06:52
Forgiving you know what it means to be forgiving. Yeah, someone does something. They steal your spot, it's okay. They sit in your seat in shul, it's okay, it's not a big deal. Someone cuts you off while you're talking, it's okay. They didn't mean it, they didn't realize. You know to be forgiving and not to be a person who is harsh with others. Be forgiving, it's okay.

07:28
You always want your friends to enjoy from you, but not you enjoy from them. You know, some people think that everything is reciprocal. Everything is reciprocal. Well, I lend you my car. You should lend me your car. You know, I invited you to my house, so you should invite me to your house. I picked up your child from school, from carpool. You should pick up my child. Last play date was at your house, so next play date is at my house. It's like everything is reciprocal.

08:01
Everything's a tit for tat, and the honest truth is is that that's not acts of kindness? That's not kindness? What is kindness? I could do a thousand times for you and you don't need to do anything for me. One has nothing to do with the other. The fact that I did for you has nothing to do with you feeling the need or being obligated to do anything for me. That's not the way kindness works. Do anything for me, that's not the way kindness works.

08:30
He should always desire that his friend benefit from him and not for him to benefit from his friend. V'yu devorim, benachasim kol b'nei adam, and he should speak gently with all people. Im yivay sheyu, adam al yivay sheyu. If someone embarrasses you, you don't embarrass them in return. You don't need to reciprocate. If they misled him, you don't mislead them back. He should bear the burden of others upon his shoulders but not impose his burden upon others, and accept every person with joy, with happiness, with a smile, with a countenance, because a pleasant countenance strengthens the love between people, and he should deal with his friend in good will and console all men in their sorrow and worry.

09:46
If someone tells you a secret, do not reveal it. Mi'itzvo u'midagoso Im gilu lo adam sod al yigalehu. If someone tells you a secret, do not reveal it. Af im yachisehu, even if he is angered by the one who told him the secret, ve lo yidaber al adam ro, he should not speak ill of anyone or listen to such talk about others. Ve lo yishma she yidaber rois al adam. Ve lo olim yishtadel limt ill of anyone or listen to such talk about others. ולא ישמע שידה ברורי אהל אדם ולא עולם ישתעדל למצא זכוס על כל אדם ואוז יהיה עובר הכל.

10:21
Always try to find favor. In something you hear about. They say oh, did you see so, and so you know he stole money. Find a way to judge him favorably. Judge every person favorably. Did you hear so-and-so did this and so-and-so did that? You have to always find judge people favorably V'chabet kol, adam bemasov, v'dvarov. And you should honor all men in their deeds and in their words and not act superior to any man, but humble yourself before all men, doing all for the sake of heaven, and you should have all of your thoughts be for the sake of heaven. And that concludes day number 37.

11:14
I just want to leave you off with an incredible story. There was once a couple and the couple was facing a big challenge in their marriage and that challenge was that they didn't have children. They didn't have any children and the wife started a store. She had a grocery store and she wanted to. She was supporting her husband who was learning Torah with her with the income from the grocery store, and she did well. He was sitting and learning Torah all day, a very, very righteous scholar and she wanted him to just sit and learn Torah all day. Okay, but they didn't have any children. So she, a very righteous woman.

12:03
She one day, in middle of the Shabbos meal, on Shabbos, she says to him that's it, you need to divorce me. You need to divorce me. He says what are you talking about? What are you talking about? She's like no, you have to go have a family, marry someone who's fertile and you'll have children. You can't continue to be married to me and not have children. Look at't. Continue to be married to me and not have children. Look at you. You're such a righteous scholar. It would be such a pity if you don't have any children. Go divorce me so that you can have children. He says what are you talking about? I love you. Right, love, love is everything. I love you. You're my wife. What do you mean? I'm not divorcing you Slowly, drip you, slowly drip, drip, drip.

12:51
She keeps on putting in this, this message. You know, she keeps on pushing this, this, this message you have to divorce me, you have to divorce me, have to divorce me. So what am I gonna do? So she, you know she pulls him to the Jewish court and there everything is is worked out, they have the witnesses and everything is agreeable.

13:10
But then they have another problem. What's the other problem? The other problem is that now they're fighting about who is going to get the business. He says she has to get the store. Why? Because she's going to be without a husband. She has to be able to support herself. The wife says no, you have to take the store because you're going to have a wife and children. You're going to have to support your wife and children. Take the store because you're going to have a wife and children. You're going to have to support your wife and children. And they're fighting that the other should get the store, the other should get the livelihood. You know, you imagine if you had such great people living in our generation, right?

13:48
So the court is sitting there and they can't believe their eyes. They can't believe what's going on. First is you know, a person who gives a get has to do so willingly. So they ask him do you want to divorce your wife? He says no. So they're like well then we can't help you. So she's like no, and she starts explaining no, you have to divorce me. It's like what was going on over there Either way. So they said listen, we can't help you. You guys have to work out your financial disagreement.

14:17
In order to do that, go to the rabbi, go to the big rabbi of the community who is the Tzanzarov. He was the rabbi from Tzanz, the Divrichaim. And they went to the Tzanzarov and they start opening up the thing. They were in the court to get divorced and so and so, and this and that. And now we're stuck in an issue. We want to know who gets the store.

14:43
He says she should get the store because she's going to be alone and she has to support herself. And she says he's going to be married to a new wife and have children, so he needs to support himself, and they're going back and forth. He needs to support himself and they're going back and forth. So the Rebbe, the Tanzarov, says to them I can guarantee you that because the two of you have such incredible love for one another, hashem is not going to do anything but give you children. Such love guarantees children. And, sure, sure enough, they stayed married and had children together.

15:25
But here's just an example. We're talking here, in our study here, of the incredible love that needs to be displayed between us and our fellow man, the incredible love that we need to share with our fellow. This is what we're talking about. Be the giver. Everyone's fighting. Oh, it should be mine, it should be this. Everything, me, me, me, me. That's the attitude of Torahs. You take, you take, take it, take it. No problem, take it, you can have it. You know what? That changes everything. People see what real value is. People see what real morals are. My dear friends, this concludes Day 37, and I look forward to learning together Day 38.