Day 36 - Transforming Love: Aligning Wealth, Relationships, and Spirituality for a Righteous Life (Orchos Tzaddikim | Love 2)

00:01 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Welcome back, everybody, to day number 36. We're on page 201 in the Gate of Love in the Treasure for Life edition of the Orchos Tzaddikim, the Ways of the Righteous. In the middle of the page, ve'avah samom ontia al derech zeh, and additionally, we're talking about now using our misguided loves in the right way. Ve'avah samom ontia al dere right way. So now, someone who loves money, love your money so that you don't want other people's money. Appreciate what you have. Love your money. That's fine, but that doesn't mean you have to desire what someone else has. You don't have to steal and you don't have to cheat. And when you're careful with your money, you won't need charity from others, but rather, when you realize the gift of your money will support others. You will dress, clothe others, you will feed them and you will give them to drink, and you'll have the privilege of supporting those who study and teach Torah also. Someone who has great wealth will undoubtedly have the challenge of being preoccupied with money, but if someone realizes that it's a gift, then he doesn't have to be busy with it. Now he can leave go of his business, know that Hashem is helping him and now he can now dedicate some time to the study of Torah and to the observance of mitzvot, because Hashem has provided for you and now you don't need to run after more and more and more, to run after more and more and more. A person shouldn't use his money to be arrogant and to show off and to drive the nicer cars and the fancier homes and the greater fashion and jewelry and all of that and the greater vacations, but rather he should use his money to acquire his place, his mansion, in the world to come. She'enu koleh, that does not disappear. You see, what we buy in this world, what we possess in this world, is fleeting, but the world to come, oh, that's a worthwhile investment because that does not expire. Ve'alderach zeh yo'av me'monu. And in such a way, he can love his money, love your money by doing things that are a greater investment than just investing in me right now, something which is fleeting.

02:58
We spoke about the misguided love for women, where a person would go away from his path of Torah. A person can even be distracted and looking at things that are not appropriate. So how do you correct this? What is the? The love of woman should be as follows the correction of it he should bear in mind that she rescues him from sin. A wife that's part of her job is to protect her husband from lewd thoughts and she keeps him from promiscuity. Through her, he fulfills the mitzvah of having children. She rears his children, she serves him all her, all of her days, preparing his meals and looking after the other household needs, thereby freeing him to study torah and to perform mitzvahs, and she helps him in all her days in serving hashem. So she's not pulling you away, but rather pulling you towards the ways of God.

04:08
And I would venture to say I've met with dozens and dozens and dozens of couples who've come in times of challenge, in times of crisis, and have talked to me about some of the most personal challenges, and I found with almost without fail, that every single time the women are on so much of a higher plane spiritually I'm talking about light years ahead and where they would do anything for their husband to be more holy, to be more godly. They will do anything for their husbands to go study torah I'm talking people who are not religious. If you can get him to have some morals, some values, to have some ethics, to have some righteousness, please, rabbi, help me. I can't even tell you the amount of times I've seen this. The tool that you have in a life partner, in a wife, is to help guide you and to help elevate you to become the greatest person you can become.

05:27
Ve'avas ove ve'imo ti alderach zeh. We mentioned about the love, the misguided love, that one may have for family, where everything they do is great, everything, and they're ready to defend them to their death when they do the wrong. So what is the proper way to love a father and mother and family members? Ti al derech zeh, sheyach shov shey gidlu hu. Ve'tor hu bo ve'lim du darcheh Hashem b'izbarach. Parents raised you. The parents toiled and worked so hard and they taught you the ways of God or the ways that they thought was the right way to live life. Ve'eru v'chinchu l'toru l'mitzvos, and they perhaps guided you in the way of Torah and mitzvos. Uvahem yikayim, mitzvos habori yizborach v'kidichziv kabed esavicha ve'asimecha.

06:18
The proper way to love your parents is to fulfill the mitzvah of the Torah in Exodus 20, 12 that teaches us to honor our father and mother, commandment number five of the Ten Commandments. Same thing with your other relatives, your brothers, your sisters, your more distant relatives and cousins. They're involved in bringing you to a better way, to better yourself, to occupy yourself in a way of in a form of elevation. Don't be rude to them, don't be nasty to them. I see this a lot, where children grow in their judaism and then come back to their family and now they're on two different spiritual levels. The child went to yeshiva, where the child was learning and growing and the parents are who they are, and now he comes back home and everyone's like it becomes a world war three over. So you have to have the proper love and the patience and the respect that is required. You're not anything better, you're different.

07:47
ולא יישא להם פנים. ובזה יש לו סחר רב ואהי מידו גדול. This is a very, very valuable trait. כדסי וחרפו לא נעשה אל קרובו, and he has not carried the shame of his relatives. The verse states and a person derives much benefit from his relatives, like we saw with Lot, whom Abraham rescued from the kings and for whom he fought, and who was rescued even from Sodom in Avram's merit and he fought on behalf, and who was rescued even from Sodom in Avram's merit Shehitzila Avram and Amalokhim ve'nilcham avuro. He fought on behalf of Lot. Ve'gam misdom nitzal b'schus Avram. We know that Lot was saved because of Abraham from Sodom and Gomorrah. Ve'yohav re'yav uv'shar kol yisro'l ava shlema.

08:36
And a person should love his friends and all the Jewish people with a perfect love, as it is written and you should love your fellow like yourself. This is in Leviticus 19.18. A great principle in Judaism is that what you dislike don't do unto your fellow, and even greater than this, For God created man in his image. Therefore, no matter how much you dislike a person, no matter how much they annoy you, no matter how much you think they are awful, remember that they are in the image of God. And as in the image of God, we have to have a respect and an admiration for all of God's creations. This concludes day number 36. My dear friends, I look forward to continuing this journey with day number 37.

Day 36 - Transforming Love: Aligning Wealth, Relationships, and Spirituality for a Righteous Life (Orchos Tzaddikim | Love 2)