Jewish Inspiration Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

00:00 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Welcome back, my dear friends, to day number 34 in our journey through Orchos Tzaddikim Ways of the Righteous. We are in the Treasure for Life edition, on page 187. We're beginning the fifth gate, the fifth chapter. We're going to be talking about the gate of love. What is love?

00:18
Love is a very, very important, very precious trait. Ha'ava kolelos, masim rabem, yosef mikol amidos, very precious trait. Of all the various character traits, the trait of love has an effect on one's actions more than any of the others. And when one employs his love for good, it is the highest of all the traits. Ha'ava kolelos, ma'asim rabim, yoseh mikol ha'midos v'kesh yosim ha'odam ahavosu l'tovo hi lemalo mikol ha'midos k'dichsiv yo'ahavto es Hashem alakecho. And you shall, as it is written, and you shall love Hashem, your God. This is in Deuteronomy 6, verse 5. Ve'ein malo ba'avod ha's. And there is no form of divine service higher than that of serving Hashem out of love. But if, god forbid, someone employs their love for the evil, there's nothing worse in the world, there's no trait that is compared to that evil of love misguided, he says. And now we have to see how love can ruin one's deeds when it gets the upper hand over one's wisdom. We know love is an emotion, right, and if that emotion doesn't function properly, then people can love a lot of silly things and do silly things out of the love, out of a good intention, but all misguided. Ki yesh kamo mine avos zu mishunamizu. Because there are many different types of love. Ha'ava achas. What is the different types of love?

02:08
What is the first type of love? A parent who loves his children, who loves their children. But because of that great love, they don't guide them and they don't reprimand them and it lets them just go on their path, go, do what you want, and then, coming from this, the result of this can be great, severe damage for the children because they're never being guided. So that's a misguided love. Yes, it's important to love your children, to be obsessed, obsessively, important to love your children, to be obsessed, obsessively in love with your children, great. But you still have to guide them when they do something. You have to guide them and make sure that they understand. When the right thing is done, great. When the wrong thing is done, they need to be properly critiqued for it, be properly critiqued for it properly, so that they can learn from their wrong ways.

03:08
What's the second misguided love? Ho'ava ashnio avas ha'mamon. Love for money. U'mirov tshukos ha'lamamon lo yieh, maso matan sholobemuno. One's great desire for money causes him to be dishonest in business, v'chomed v'oshek and covets and exploits and steals in order to amass more wealth. V'gozo kadeh lahar bozhon u'meirov chemda saosher yikpotz yado minatzdoko, v'yetzar ayin. This great desire for wealth will cause him to close his hand to charity and to be miserly. So that's another form of love. They love money. So now everything is fine, as long as it's.

03:51
I remember my father once hired someone to work for a young guy. He was like straight out of school. First job came to my father and my father was just doing an act of kindness and bringing him in, hopefully showing him the ropes of the business. And after the first day the guy came back from work, came back from being out in the field, and my father asked him so what did you do? He says, well, I did this and this and I did that and that, and I said this and I said that. My father's like but one second. That's not true and that's not honest. How can you say that? He said what are you talking about? It's business? As if business is a blanket approval to cheat, lie and steal and do whatever you want because it's in the name of business. That was the last day he worked there. That's not the way you operate, that's not the way you conduct your business. Just because you have a desire or a love for money doesn't mean that we can just do whatever we want.

04:54
What is the other form of love that could be misguided? The love for women. And if a person's wife is wicked and haughty, he tosses him really all the mitzvos and he will follow him. And from love and love there is no point of negative. And listen to the atzasa. So he loves his wife, obsessively, in love with his wife, but she's turning him against the mitzvos and removing the mitzvos from his heart and he will be drawn after her. His great love will not permit him to defy her, he will heed her counsel and she will lead him into evil deeds. His great love for women will also cause him to gaze at them constantly, to speak obscenities and to come to lewdness. Oh, it's okay, it's me and the boys and we're just talking like that, in a way that is crass, in a way that is inappropriate, in a way that is lewd, in a way that is crass, in a way that is inappropriate, in a way that is lewd and that is a way that no Jewish person should talk about anyone. So this is very, very important. This is part of what we learn when we learn the trait of modesty. It's not only modesty in clothes and how we carry ourselves and how we dress. Modesty is how we talk, and if a person doesn't talk with a proper modesty, that's also a major flaw which we will get to undoubtedly.

06:32
The fourth misguided love the love of those close to him his father, mother, brothers, sisters, his other relatives and his friends and companions. He ahavas krovav aviv imo v'ochiv v'ach yosov. V'shar krovav. V'reah v'chavirov, mitoch ahavosom yisayeya lohem v'makhlokosom. Because of his love for them, he will aid them in their quarrels without first checking to see whether they may have wronged their rivals. V'lo yohush, v'lo yidaktek im heim. Pashu b'valim achlogosam Ach la'olam ya'azor lahem b'yogen v'yichas aleim. He will blindly assist them and defend them and cover up for them, and even if they have been guilty of great offenses, he will take their side. V'af im portzu protzus rabos yogen aleim.

07:24
It's a big mistake. If you know that your family did something wrong, it is proper to correct them and not to just say, well, it's family, family, family. We have to, you know. Of course we have to protect our family. Of course we have to defend our family. Of course we have to stand up for our family. Right?

07:42
You're not allowed to neglect your own flesh. The Torah commands us that you allowed to neglect your own flesh. The Torah commands us that you can't neglect your own flesh, meaning your own family. Okay, but that doesn't mean that if you know that they're dishonest in business, if you know that they're going in the improper way, that you don't give them guidance to go in the right way.

08:16
He's trying to do favors for his family when they're not called for and inappropriate. It's family. Everything in the name of family I'm willing to do. He will also heed their counsel and not depart from it, although it is not good. He will likewise desire to elevate them to positions which are not appropriate for them, such as governors, supervisors and taskmasters. And although they may be wicked, this will not deter him, for love will blind his eyes and deafen his ears. V'hineh ha'ava me'aver es enov u'macharresh es oznov. V'yeish beze kilko godol. And this will cause great damage, for they will bend the world to their vanities.

09:04
This we find a lot, by the way today, in politics, people don't care anymore about what is truth and what is not Politics. People don't care anymore about what is truth and what is not, but rather people just care about their own team and they're not willing to be intellectually honest, to say you know, this is wrong, even though it's my party, it's wrong, even though it's the candidate that I like. But it's wrong or it's right, and even though you know, since people are not having today intellectual arguments, it's all an emotional argument. When you look at television, which is why, for years already, I haven't looked at, you know, these pundits and listen to these radio programs years, years and years about politics or about current events in the world, because I really the honest truth, I'm not missing out on anything. Nothing changed. I can open up the newspaper in five more years and nothing still will change. We'll see the same depravity, we'll see the same immorality that we see now. It may get worse, maybe it'll get better, not sure, but definitely a person needs to be truthful and honest.

10:17
Ha'avah, ha'mishis, what is the fifth misguided love? The love of long life. Because of his abundant love for life, because of his abundant love for life, because of his abundant love for life, he will not withstand trials that will require him to sacrifice his life. I want to just live. Just leave me alone. But there are things that a person is supposed to do that should sacrifice his life for the sake of heaven. We spoke about this this morning in our prayer podcast that one should be willing to give up their soul for Hashem.

11:01
If someone says, puts a gun to your head and says, bow down to this idol or I kill you, you take a bullet to your head. Why? Because I'm not going to forsake my God, but I love long life. And this person that the you take a bullet to your head. Why? Because I'm not going to forsake my God, but I love long life. And this person that the author here is bringing this example is he's not going to be able to withstand such a trial because he loves his life too much. He'll just, it's fine, I'll just bow down. Who cares? And that is misguided and incorrect.