Day 28 - Finding Moral Clarity in a Changing World (Orchos Tzaddikim | Shame 2)

00:00 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Welcome back to day 28. We're on page 146. But the proper, elevated state of having shame. Shame means self-worth, to have proper shame before the Almighty. The verse says my God, I am ashamed and embarrassed to lift up my face to you, my God. And if one thinks, how can I be shy or embarrassed or, you know, shamed in shame, before a God that doesn't see me and nobody sees him? Nobody sees me, he sees me but I don't see him. He says no, you have to understand that Hashem is revealed to us in our heart and in our thoughts. He says you will be restored with this shame, with this appropriate shame, when you contemplate G-d and when you think of G-d, when you think of Hashem, the creator of heaven and earth, that he sees everything. Hashem knows what's going on in your heart. Hashem knows what's going on in your mind. Hashem knows exactly your intentions, where God sees the deeds, searches the conscience and looks into the thoughts of men.

01:50
Echad min hachachamim amar, one of the great wise sages, said im nizhar toko yimecha shaloch hatasa, if you have been cautious your entire life not to sin, al tachzik tov le'atzmecha, don't think that you're so special. The beginning of clearing away all sin is having fear, having shame from other people. It says you have to be careful. If you're not doing a sin anymore, don't do it because you're embarrassed of what your neighbor is going to say. Do it because you're embarrassed by what God is going to say, because the Yetzhahara likes to persuade us that the right thing to be worried about is what other people think.

02:50
The majority of this world cares about what other people think, what we dress, how we talk, the styles, the fashion of talking all thinking about what other people think I drink certain things. Because what other people think I drink certain things. Because what other people think what's? If you like the color blue, but blue is not fashionable, oh, I can't wear that. It's not fashionable. What is everyone going to think? No, why do you care what other people think? Don't care what other people think so. So If you do such, you know what's going to happen Everyone's going to frown upon you.

03:40
First thing you have to think about what does Hashem want? Is Hashem happy with what I'm doing? If Hashem is happy with what I'm doing, I don't care what other people think. I don't care what they will think about me and how they will judge me and how they will define my character. I don't care what other people think.

04:07
A person has to think. Who am I here to serve? Am I here to serve mankind or am I here to serve the Almighty? Who am I supposed to fear, mankind or fear God? Who do I perform mitzvot for? For my fellow neighbors or for God?

04:25
And this is what King David said to Solomon K'mo she'omer, david l'shalom, abno da es elokei avicha ve'avdehu, know the God of your father and serve him. U'bozei a'inin yagia she'izba'esh lefnei ha'kodesh boruch u'bulvad. And with this, a person will build a resistance to being embarrassed before mankind and will only be embarrassed in front of God. Only care about what God thinks, not what people think. It doesn't make a difference what people think, and a person has to work really, really hard to instill this into our consciousness, into our actions. I only care what God thinks.

05:12
I may have told you the story, but I remember when my father was completely inebriated one year on Purim and that's the only time of year that he would be and my brother, my older brother, was having a conversation with my dad. It wasn't such a sober one, but my brother was like well, why are you telling me to do this? All my friends. What are they going to think? So my father said let me tell you what's going to happen. He says one day we're all going to be standing in front of the heavenly tribunal, in front of the heavenly court, and they're going to say so, why did you do this? And you're going to say well, all of my friends did it. They're going to turn to you and they're going to say which friends? And you're going to look around and there's not going to be anyone there. All of your friends that you think think are going to be your support group in front of the heavenly courts. They're not going to be there. It's just going to be you and you alone. And boy, that was a powerful, inebriated speech. The only thing my father said, the only thing that we need to be worried about, is fear of Hashem, because, at the end of the day, that's the only opinion that matters. It is known to all.

06:36
Many people do things privately, people talk privately, they say things about others, people think thoughts, people say things as long as people don't know what I think, which, by the way, today people use social media. It's very easy to relate to this now, in our generation, because people use social media as a hideout. They go and they can antagonize others. They can cause others a lot of harm because they have them on their social media and they can attack them and they can call them names and they can embarrass people, all hiding behind a screen. They would never do that in public, they would never say that out loud, they would never say it to someone in their face, but behind a screen, oh, that nobody knows. And that's the hidden form that he's talking about.

07:37
V'im hayu kol ma'asim sh'asu minu'ureyim v'chol advarim sh'idibru v'chol ma'ach sh'avos sh'achashru gluyim vidum l'chol adam. And if all of your actions, even your childhood actions, sins of your childhood, or all of the things that you speak about and all of the things that you do, if they were all on display, imagine you're driving up the 59 here in Houston and the 69 and the big billboard has a display of all of your actions that you did privately, that nobody's supposed to know about. It's a big billboard that says oh, you did this and you did that, all of your hidden secrets are revealed. What would happen? Are you misbash in bushuk dol mod? We would be terribly embarrassed and humiliated.

08:23
Kol Shekin, maybe in this generation people won't. I don't know. This generation seems like they've lost the compass of all embarrassment. This is a very, very, very relevant chapter in our generation. Even more so does a person need to be concerned, not that it's going to be on the billboard on Highway 59 in Houston, texas. You have to be concerned that it's going to be on the billboard of heaven, where the Almighty knows exactly our thoughts and our intentions and our words, even though they're in private. Hamashkif alalavavos, god is the one who sees one's thoughts, ve'roach kalmachshavos and understands, looks into one's heart and his intentions, and God knows all our actions and God knows everything you've done your entire life and we know. Hashem doesn't forget a thing and a person needs to have a proper shame in front of the Almighty.

Day 28 - Finding Moral Clarity in a Changing World (Orchos Tzaddikim | Shame 2)